People often ask me how I keep going. After all, life has handed me my share of challenges. I’ve endured heartbreak, loss, betrayal, financial devastation, and the daily realities of caregiving. There have been moments when it would have been easy, perhaps even understandable, to throw up my hands and say, “Enough.” But somehow, I never do.
Recently, while reflecting on my journey, I realized something that made me smile. I think I’ve got the “don’t give up” gene.
No, you won’t find it on a DNA test. Scientists probably don’t have a name for it. But I know it’s there because I’ve seen it show up again and again throughout my life. It’s the part of me that gets knocked down but always finds a way to stand back up. It’s the voice that whispers, “Keep going,” when circumstances are screaming, “Quit.“
And if I’m honest, I think many of us have that gene. Sometimes we just need to remember it’s there.
Learning It Early
When I look back, I realize I learned perseverance from the people around me.
My parents lived through difficult times. They understood sacrifice, hard work, and commitment. They didn’t quit when life became inconvenient. They adapted. They endured.
As a child, I didn’t recognize the lessons they were teaching. I simply watched. I watched them solve problems instead of running from them. I watched them keep promises.
I watched them face challenges with determination rather than excuses. Those examples became part of who I am.
Life wasn’t always easy, but I learned early that difficult doesn’t mean impossible.
The Unexpected Tests
Of course, it’s easy to feel strong when everything is going well. The real test comes when life changes without your permission.
I’ve had those moments.
Moments when plans unraveled. Moments when loss left an empty chair at the table. Moments when I wondered how I would move forward.
One of the most painful experiences in my life was being the victim of a romance fraud that stole not only my money but also my trust. The financial loss was enormous. The emotional devastation was even greater.
For a while, I felt embarrassed, angry, and broken. I could have hidden from the experience. I could have allowed it to define me.
Instead, I chose to learn from it. Then I chose to speak about it. Then I chose to help others.
That “don’t give up” gene wouldn’t let me stay down for long. What began as one of the darkest chapters of my life became an opportunity to educate, advocate, and support other victims. Sometimes our greatest purpose grows from our deepest pain.
Caregiving and Persistence
These days, I see that same gene showing up in my role as a caregiver.
My father is 96 years old. At his age, every day brings new challenges. Some days are good. Some days are frustrating. Some days require tremendous patience.
Anyone who has been a caregiver knows that it isn’t always glamorous. There are appointments. There are medications. There are repeated questions. There are worries that keep you awake at night. There are moments when exhaustion tries to convince you that you’re running on empty.
Yet every morning, you get up and do it again. Not because it’s easy. Because someone you love needs you.
That’s the “don’t give up” gene at work.
It’s not about dramatic acts of heroism.
It’s about showing up consistently.
It’s choosing love over convenience.
It’s choosing commitment over comfort.
It’s understanding that some of life’s most meaningful work happens quietly, behind the scenes.
Losing My Mother
When my mother passed away in December 2024, a piece of my heart went with her. Anyone who has lost a parent understands that grief doesn’t follow a schedule. Some days you feel strong. Some days a memory catches you off guard. A song. A photograph. A familiar recipe.
Suddenly you’re right back in the moment of loss. There were days when grief felt overwhelming.
But there was also something else. Gratitude. Gratitude for the years we shared. Gratitude for her example. Gratitude for the lessons she left behind.
Even in grief, that “don’t give up” gene reminded me that healing is possible.
Not forgetting.
Not moving on.
But moving forward.
There is a difference.
The Gift of Resilience
One thing I’ve learned is that resilience isn’t something you’re born with fully developed.
It’s built. Every challenge strengthens it. Every setback teaches it. Every obstacle exercises it.
Think about your own life. You’ve survived things you once thought would break you. You’ve made it through losses, disappointments, illnesses, failures, and uncertainties.
At the time, you may not have felt strong.
But strength isn’t measured by how you feel in the middle of a storm. It’s measured by the fact that you’re still here. Still standing. Still trying. Still hoping.
That’s resilience.
And the beautiful thing about resilience is that it grows every time you use it.
Refusing to Quit
The older I get, the more I realize that success isn’t reserved for the smartest, wealthiest, or most talented people. Success often belongs to the people who simply refuse to quit.
They keep learning. They keep adapting. They keep showing up.
When a door closes, they look for a window. When a path disappears, they create a new one.
When life says “no,” they ask, “What now?“
Not because they’re fearless. Because they’re determined.
I’ve met countless people who embody this spirit. Cancer survivors. Widows. Single parents. Caregivers. Veterans.
People rebuilding after financial loss. People starting over at sixty, seventy, or even eighty years old.
What they all have in common is not perfect circumstances. It’s perseverance.
Maybe You’ve Got It Too
Perhaps you’re reading this during a difficult season.
Maybe you’re caring for a loved one. Maybe you’re grieving. Maybe you’re facing a health challenge. Maybe you’re struggling financially. Maybe you’re simply tired. If so, let me remind you of something.
Look how far you’ve already come. Look at everything you’ve survived. Look at every obstacle you’ve overcome.
You may not feel strong today. But strength isn’t absent just because you’re weary. Sometimes strength looks like getting out of bed. Sometimes it looks like asking for help.
Sometimes it looks like taking one more step when you don’t feel like taking any.
That’s enough.
One step at a time.
One day at a time.
One challenge at a time.
I’ve come to believe that most of us carry a little “don’t give up” gene inside us. It’s part hope. Part courage. Part faith. And part stubborn determination.
Whatever it is, I’m grateful for it. Because it has carried me through some of life’s hardest moments.
And if you’ve made it this far in your own journey, I suspect you’ve got it too.
So whatever challenge you’re facing today, don’t give up.
Your story isn’t finished yet.