Laura L. Reeves is a certified business coach, consultant, trainer, writer, and speaker. She has started more than 9 different businesses in her career and has worked in aviation, government, health care and non-profits. Laura has been in business for over 40 years and has learned to be joyfully creative in the most difficult and outrageous of situations.
Then you would trust, because there is hope; And you would look around and rest securely.
She turns her face upwards and extends a tiny hand. A large calloused hand consumes it tenderly in its grasp. Brilliant blue eyes crinkle at the corners as a slow smile spreads across the man’s face. The trust of a child is a precious gift and he would not risk it for any reason.
We longingly admire such relationships. Many times because we have not experienced it ourselves. Trauma, especially in childhood, leaves lasting scars, the most deadly being the loss of trust. We can spend mountains of money or rifle through dozens of relationships and not quite make the leap into trust.
All of us have those closed off places where trust never gathers. The doors are locked tight and only we have the key. Sometimes we may even turn it and crack open the door for a brief moment. Invariably it is slammed shut at the first sign of a disturbance.
I have known and loved many friends that have little trust. My intent has been to be trustworthy but, in some cases I don’t even glimpse the door. Does this mean I don’t extend my trust to them? It can be a choice fraught with risk. Yet somehow there is always treasure to be found in the offer.
We have become a world that does not trust. We verify our exploration of the internet with “trusted” methods. There are identification numbers for bank accounts, medical records and education transcripts. We don’t trust our governments or our neighbors. And we even investigate our potential dates before going out with them. How did we get to this lonely place of wariness?
Among the myriad reasons is the loss of connection. We operate the minutiae of our lives via the black screens of our phones. Delivery services profit from our desire to be served food, clothing and medicine at our front door. We attend church via a livestream, listen to podcasts for news and provide an ever growing billionaire class with our income and growing dependence.
Face to face encounters now engender such anxiety that we have companion animals and a stock vocabulary of “trigger” words or phrases to arm ourselves with. It is a stark reminder of how much we have withdrawn from the communication circles that have sustained societies for millennia.
But there is always hope and it begins with a choice. I will risk connection. Each new friend, colleague or family member provides us with a decision. Do we trust or do we remain at arm’s length? Sure, there is risk. Leaving our homes is a risk. Driving a car or picking up the phone is risky. Life itself is a risk. Each breath is precious. Every time we open our eyes from sleep, the adventure begins anew.
Anyone that has overcome addiction will tell you the choice to trust in something or someone greater than themselves is the first step towards healing. Restoration comes from the moment by moment choice to trust in the greater. There will be inevitable failures and restarts but each one deepens the hope of a future peace. It is a very present way to live each day.
Choice is the ultimate human gift. It can be weaponized or it can bring salvation. That outcome is up to us. We can live with hope and trust in that choice or we can fall into the abyss of loneliness and despair. Let us choose trust and walk with hope in it.